That's one thing I still deal with, pretty much on a daily basis. I'll have a day or two in there I feel ok, But I still worry that Something will happen to my precious daughter. I've loved her since the beginning on this journey, even before she was created, but the love grows, this was something I didn't expect. I mean, I did expect for that love to grow after she was here, but with each passing month and each new milestone we hit, I fall more in love with her. I love having her kick me, and when I don't feel her moving, I sometimes go into a small panic. But, just that same, each passing day those fears seem to lessen, very very slowly, but they do lessen. And I always hear the comment now when I tell people that, "Your a mother now, you'll always worry!". I worry because of my history, I worry because of the 3 miscarriages, and yes, those were all eraly losses in the first trimester, but, it still haunts you. You still worry that one day you'll go in for an appointment, and that beautiful heart beat won't be there, you worry you'll start bleeding at any point, and at times, I'm beginning to worry about going into preterm labor. Now, I'm not saying that women who have gotten pregnant the first month they tried, or that women who have never experienced a loss, or that women who are having a healthy "textbook" pregnancy don't worry. I'm sure they do, I know they do. But, I feel as though my worry is just a little bit different. And that's ok. Everyone has the rights to their feelings and emotions, no matter where they come from.
Anyway, on to how Baby Girl is doing. As far as doctors appointments go, she been doing awesome! Always moving around on the ultrasound screen when we see her. Great heartbeats, everything looks good. We just had another ultrasound last Monday, they were able to get the pictures of her heart that they weren't able to at the fetal echo. Everything was how it should be. She weighed in at a whopping 2 lbs! She's getting bigger by the day now I'm sure. Her little lungs are still developing, but at this point, if she were to be born, she would be able to breathe air. But, she's not coming out anytime soon still.
Here we are, 27 weeks, just a little less then 13 weeks to go! and 89 days left until her due date. Bi-weekly appointments to the OB start next week!