Thursday, September 30, 2004

Wasting Time..

I am sitting here at my desk... actually, as I sit here, I am thinking, wasting time.... what is time and how do you waste it? Something to ponder. Time requires motion, right? motion requires some kind of matter... no? It all boggels my mind. If there was no matter, there would be no motion, then there would be no time, right? Time is a product of our own subjective thinking. so, if that is the case, time doesn't exist either, unless there is a person, with a mind, to make the time actually exist. but does time exist outside of our own minds and understanding? is time only soething that each of us project out of our own individual minds? does time really exist? So when scientists think of the big bang theroyt which happened 15 billion years ago, how can that be? 15 billion years ago is a time frame, but time did not exist then because there where no humans, no minds. so time never did exist until there were humans. Which then brings up the whole controversay of past, preasent and future. What is the past. it has already happen, it does not exist. everything I did earlier today is gone, it is the past, it is not in the past because the past cann exist so there for nothing can be in it, it can only be of it. the past no longer exists. The future too, does that exist, how can something exist that has not even happend yet? Is there a way that we can alter our future? I'll get back to this issue in a moment, now for the present, the preasnt hoppens so quick that once it begins, it is already over. so in a sense, does the present even exist? is is over so quickly that is basically automatically becomes the past, which doesn't exist because it is gone.... Now back to the future. The future can exist, because God is there, so if God is in the future and knows how our lives are, does that take away human free will? do we, as humans actually have free will? God can be in the future.... but we cannot, so therefore we have no control over how our futures will be and if our futures even eist. only God knows, but if that is the case, where is our free will? does that exist? I have come to believe that time travel is not possible because once that past has happened it is gone, it ceases to exist. But, even if it were possible, and we could go back in to the past, just our preasnce there could alter our future, which we would have, we wouldn't exist if the past was altered becasue we would not have been born. so where would we be. Time travel into the future? impossible, why, because our futures do not exist. the same reasoning behaind time travel into the past. there is not future, how can we go and see what life will be like 10 years from now? and if it were possible, if we didn;t like what we saw, could we ever change what our outcome will be? Time, it is an interesting subject that brings up many questions. how can something we use more then we think or know or even comprehend be so unansweable? something so non-understandable. it is out of the qustion. Anyway, really I am waiting for a sign to paint so I can finish it. But I thought, while I waited, why not try to talk about this thing that I am just beginning to learn about and see where others stand, and even become more knowledgable on this matter, because I am so certin that you all have your own understaings on this subject. well I think it is time to get back to painting!!!!! Talk to you later!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Simply Complicated

Well, outside of my usual confused mind I am having a difficult time trying to figure this blog thing out. This is very confusing to my small blonde brain. I asked James for some help, so hopefully the help will come soon.

School is going. Not much to talk about that. Philosophy class really hurts my head though. I don't know how in the world I will get through this semester!!!!

Tim and I had a nice long 2 hour conversation on the phone last night. Was not one I wanted to get into, at last not in this point and time, but it is good that it happend. If not, then we would be having some serious difficluties.

I have to write a paper on Leonardo Da Vinci, why I don't understand? When in a counseling session am I going to have to talk to a clint about this man? Makes no sense. I also have to get moving on with my other projects, otherwise I will be in a deep deep hole. Not Cool!

This weekend I am going to Wayne, NJ with my friend and RA to her house, then possibly I'll be stopping at home in Brick, NJ to see Tim and have another talk with him and try to get things strighted out.

Well I am going to head on out now. I hope that I get the help that I need soon cuz it would be fun! see ya around! Nite!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Just Trying To Fit In.....

Well, I once did have a blogger, and now I have another one, The reason being that I now have a xanga and a blogger is beacuse I want to keep myself updated with all the Messiah peoples. I hope that this helps!

Yesterday in philosophy class the prof. was tlaking about love. And the question was brought up, "what does the word love actually mena?" Surprsingly enough it brought up quite a few questions into my little mind. What does it mean? what do you mean when you tell some one you love them.... has the actual meaning of love dissapeared in our advanced socity of "loving" everything? I mean we love this movie, and that song, we love this person and that book? Have we just become so numb to the acutal meaning of love? We take the word and use it in our everyday language, but et it has so much more meaning and passion behind it all. The meaning of love: to treat others with respect, dignity, and kindness no matter how you FEEL about them. is love a feeling or an action. First off it is an action, love has to be acted out before and can be felt, just the same with courage. There is so much more, and so many more question that could be asked about one simple word...... that we just use as if it were water..... when, in fact, i believe we should think more on the meaning before we say "i love you" to someone next time. Do you REALLY love them?

well, it is time for me to head on out, hope to talk with you soon.