Becoming Domesticated

So today was a BIG day for me!! I went all out on the domestic front! ha ha!! Today I got dinner started this morning in the crock pot, (this must be the third time I have even used it, but I love it! I need to use it more often...). Then I got laundry going, then the dishes, then I made some homemade cookies!! This time I went for the cookie dough that you can cut into gingerbread men!! It was so fun. I can't wait to decorate them!! This past weekend was a pretty busy weekend. We got our tree up and got some more things done!! I cannot believe that Christmas is right around the corner! only 10 days!!! Wow. anyway.. here is a little picture of our tree.

Flashback Friday!

So, I'm not really sure when this picture of me was taken, I must be 5 or 6 in this picture. I was going through all my pictures the other day and this is one of the many I came across. This one photo just reminds me so much of my childhood though; and how I miss the innocents of it, and how as children we don't really worry too much about the "responsible" things "adults" worry about. The biggest issue is what outfit to put on Barbie today.. Oh how I miss being a child...

for more flashback visit Courtney's site!

kathi

Missing My Husband...

Well, today is Tuesday Treasures . And even though my family only consists of my husband, my dog, and me I still treasure them all. And yesterday my husband left again to go on travel. I think I an count on one hand the number of days he's actually been home since labor day. I miss him greatly. But hopefully, after he comes home this Friday, he'll be home for good; well, at least until March I believe. Well, here is my treasure for today. It's a picture that we took last weekend before he left to go on travel. It was our own attempt at a family Christmas portrait. It's not the best one of us ever, but when you only have the use of self timer and a fussy dog, this is the best you get!

My Tuesday Treasure for this week

My treasure for this:

Two weeks ago I had the privilege of accompanying my husband on a business trip to San Diego California! And what was even more of a treasure, Being able to see one of my best friends who lives right near LA.


me and my husband in san clemente

the beach in san clemente

me and one of my best friends in the WORLD! Lizzy!!

I hope you you had a wonderful day!

Flashbak Friday....

My flashback goes back to the Thanksgiving of 2002. My husband and I at the time had only been dating for a month and it was my first Thanksgiving break from college. I went to Lancaster Bible College and of course because I was going there my family all had insisted that I do the Thanksgiving devotional that year, So here is a picture that my husband got of me as I was scrolling through the Bible to find a good verse about being thankful. I don't remember what verse I chose or what my little devo was about, (besides being thankful, lol). I'm also sad to report that because the years have changed, my families priorities have also, there is no more big family devotional, nor is there anymore family prayer over the Thanksgiving dinner. But I do have to say that it is interesting to look back six years ago and see how much we have changed and to remember where we were and to see where we are today! I can only hope that my old family traditions will return one day, if not with my whole family, at least with the traditions that my husband and I will be able to form with our own family. There isn't much else to say about it, but it was nice to remember. Thanks for checking out my flashback! Join in here and check out other flashbacks!

Thankful.

Just wanted to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!! What are you thankful for today?

its all gone (hopefully)

Today at 7am I checked into the hospital to have my cardiac ablation done. All went well and i'll be home in the morning.

Sex God

So I know it took a little longer then what I wanted it to to get this review up for you all! I just finished the book Sex God by Rob Bell last week. I picked it up the week before, I had been wanting to read it for a while now, especially since I like Rob Bell. He has two books out right now, This one and His first book, Velvet Elvis. I have yet to read Velvet Elvis, but that's next on the list!!

The books title may throw some people off or may even scare/intimidate them. I know I was a little werided out by it at first. Rob Bell goes into exploring the connection between sexuality and spirituality. It's a very short short book, only about 200 pages, nine chapters. Rob Bell makes some interesting points on the human sexuality and its relation to our spirituality. It has defiantly raised some question for me and has caused me to look at sexualitly in a much different light! Not in a bad way, but in a way that the media doesn't. I honestly don't think I have ever though of it this way before. I highly recommend this book for any one, married, single, or dating. It could give you new light on how you view sexuality and how it could change you relationship not only with others but with God. You can find it in any book store or even on amazon. Some points he discussed I'm not sure if I really agree with, but it does make me think. And some points opened up my eyes. I think my favorite chapter was Angles and Animals. Rob Bell talks about some people don't control their sexuality and they let it lose as if they were wild animals and others try so hard to shove their sexuality deep inside them to hide it, avoid it to the point where they beome like angels who have no sexuality at all. He talks about how we are neither, we are humans who have sexuality and we need to have control over it but at the same time we cannot hide it, it is a part of who we are and it is how God made us.

It's a great book and if you ever have the time to ppik it up, I hope you do!!

Nothing.

I don't really have anything to post about today. I watched a good movie though. Jane Austin's Book Club! Great movie! I recommend it! Also, I go home tomorrow, and Tim comes home Friday.

And I also just started reading Sex God by Rob Bell. I will have to tell you about it when I am done. Write my little review. (lol)

That's all. maybe I'll leave you all with a picture.

winston on halloween.

Tuesday Treasures

So this is my first time joining in on this wonderful thing called Tuesday Treasures that is set up by Storing Up Treasures in Heaven. I have been following the blog for about a month now. I found her through Darren's Blog. I'm not really sure what exactly you are to post here so I will just post a picture of a great memory that my husband and I were able to create back in August! A wonderful short term missions trip to Africa!




Thanks for checking out my treasure!

oh bother.

So I've been up in NJ now for almost a week, (one week tomorrow!). Things have been good, I've been able to see people that I haven't seen in a while, and I also have had the pleasure of going to my FAVORITE sushi place just about everyday since I've been back. I know, a little excessive, but what can I say, they just don't have good sushi in MD.... (and it stinks!!!). I'll be here for another three days, then I will be heading back to MD to meet my wonderful husband when he comes home on Friday after being on travel for 17 days. I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIM TO COME HOME! (oh how I've missed him.)

We have a busy next few weeks coming upon us, and I am afraid that Christmas will quickly creep up on me!!! So in that, I have begun to shop for Christmas decorations! I am so exciting sine this will be our First Christmas in our first house!! and our third Christmas together! We really don't have much in the way of decorations, so we will have to buy some things this year, which is a little difficult as you all know as well! But I'm excited all the same! I am also anxious to begin shopping for gifts but I have no idea what anyone wants yet!! And I am also itching to get a new cell phone! I'm due for the new 2 year contract and I cannot wait since I have hated my current phone since I got it 2 years ago!! (it's an LG chocolate).

Well, lets see, I will have to keep you posted! Tim comes back on Friday!!! Then we have a wedding on Saturday, the Sunday we leave for Califorina!! Then we come back on the 20 November. Then on the 21st I will have all the pre-testing done, then possibly a doctor's appointment, then I Tim and I will have our pictures taken for our church diretory. Then we have the weekend free before Monday, the 24th, I have th procedure. Then Thursday, the 27th, is Thanksgiving!! See how the time will fly by so quickly!

Well, there's a small update for you, nothing big or exciting, but it is what it is. That's all for now. Good night all who read this!

By George I Think She's Got It!

Ok, so check out that side bar of mine!! Even though I have not read a book, or have had some one show me... I think I am slowly figuring out this whole HTML thing! Look at the link I just posted to Darren's site, Leblanclife.com!! I'm so Happy I've figured that out!! YAY!! (ok that's enough of that, I was just so happy!)

Who woulda' thunk??

So, today was the sixth day that, once again, I've been without my husband. For yet again, he is on travel for work. He won't be back again for another 11 days. Yesterday was especially hard for me for some reason. Last night I about 7pm I went down stairs to put my dish in the sink and I just started crying. I just felt so alone. Now, I know it may seem ridiculous to some, but when you've just recently moved to a new state where you don't know anyone, and your still not working because you just can't seem to find a job, you find yourself by yourself 24/7. Alone. Now, this really isn't the point of my post. But I just wanted to share that. Anyway... (I guess I just had to vent since I have had barely any human contact.) Today I decided to try and not rot the day away with television. Today I decided to try and get myself out of the depressed state. I got some filing done. And Then this afternoon I decided to finish a book............. a book I started a few years ago! Now, I've been reading it off and on again for the last 2 years I've had it. I never thought I would finish it, but every time I picked it up it was as if I never put it down. The reason I believe it took me so long to read it was because for me, it was a difficult read. The book is called Gaining; The Truth about Life after Eating Disorders. It really hit home for me. I totally related to that book and learned a little more about myself as a recovering Anorexic. Now, when I went to college I decided to major in counseling because I wanted to help others like myself. And through those classes I also learned about the disease/disorder. One of the things I learned about was the different views of recovery. There are basically two understandings on this: 1.) People with Eating disorders can FULLY recover, (meaning that they will never have the tendencies again). and 2.) People can recover, but it's not a full recover. I believe in that later. I believe that people can recover, however to believe in a full recovery seems a little difficult to me. You see, we are consistently surrounded by food. We cannot take ourselves away from the situation, fore example, how an alcoholic can chose to remove themselves away from alcohol.) And this I believe makes it more difficult for those reoccurring thoughts to be removed from the mind of someone with an eating disorder. (These are just my own beliefs/ideas from my own research. please, please, don't take this as if I don;t believe that people can recover and once again be "normal" around food, or have a healthy relationship with food again, I'm just saying that to me people can recover, but to call it a full recovery, I'm not sure about that. Please don't take this as a negative, please don't take me as a professional in the field, these are just my thoughts). But Aimee Liu makes some very good points and has made some excellent research in the idea of what it's like for a person who is recovering from an eating disorder. It was strange to see how she spoke about some of the new habits that I have picked up on thorough my reovery, that could very well be the habits that I have replaced the disorded eating habits with. Some good, some not so good. But all in all, this is an excellent book, and if you or some one you know has "recovered" from an eating disorder this is a great read. I would not suggest it for those who are new to recovery or those who are still in the vital stages of recovery. Now I will leave you with a quote from the book, " Each of us must find our own path. We must dare to follow it even when others can't understand or don't approve. And we must each take our own sweet time to savor all that we gain we move outward, into and though the richness of life that awaits us" (Amiee Liu from the book, Gaining: the Truth about Life after Eating Disorders, pg. 260.) Thank you, and once again......So, today was the sixth day that, once again, I've been without my husband. For yet again, he is on travel for work. He won't be back again for another 11 days. Yesterday was especially hard for me for some reason. Last night I about 7pm I went down stairs to put my dish in the sink and I just started crying. I just felt so alone. Now, I know it may seem ridiculous to some, but when you've just recently moved to a new state where you don't know anyone, and your still not working because you just can't seem to find a job, you find yourself by yourself 24/7. Alone. Now, this really isn't the point of my post. But I just wanted to share that. Anyway... (I guess I just had to vent since I have had barely any human contact.) Today I decided to try and not rot the day away with television. Today I decided to try and get myself out of the depressed state. I got some filing done. And Then this afternoon I decided to finish a book............. a book I started a few years ago!



Now, I've been reading it off and on again for the last 2 years I've had it. I never thought I would finish it, but every time I picked it up it was as if I never put it down. The reason I believe it took me so long to read it was because for me, it was a difficult read. The book is called Gaining; The Truth about Life after Eating Disorders. It really hit home for me. I totally related to that book and learned a little more about myself as a recovering Anorexic. Now, when I went to college I decided to major in counseling because I wanted to help others like myself. And through those classes I also learned about the disease/disorder. One of the things I learned about was the different views of recovery. There are basically two understandings on this: 1.) People with Eating disorders can FULLY recover, (meaning that they will never have the tendencies again). and 2.) People can recover, but it's not a full recover. I believe in that later. I believe that people can recover, however to believe in a full recovery seems a little difficult to me. You see, we are consistently surrounded by food. We cannot take ourselves away from the situation, fore example, how an alcoholic can chose to remove themselves away from alcohol.) And this I believe makes it more difficult for those reoccurring thoughts to be removed from the mind of someone with an eating disorder. (These are just my own beliefs/ideas from my own research. please, please, don't take this as if I don;t believe that people can recover and once again be "normal" around food, or have a healthy relationship with food again, I'm just saying that to me people can recover, but to call it a full recovery, I'm not sure about that. Please don't take this as a negative, please don't take me as a professional in the field, these are just my thoughts).

But Aimee Liu makes some very good points and has made some excellent research in the idea of what it's like for a person who is recovering from an eating disorder. It was strange to see how she spoke about some of the new habits that I have picked up on thorough my reovery, that could very well be the habits that I have replaced the disorded eating habits with. Some good, some not so good. But all in all, this is an excellent book, and if you or some one you know has "recovered" from an eating disorder this is a great read. I would not suggest it for those who are new to recovery or those who are still in the vital stages of recovery. Now I will leave you with a quote from the book, " Each of us must find our own path. We must dare to follow it even when others can't understand or don't approve. And we must each take our own sweet time to savor all that we gain we move outward, into and though the richness of life that awaits us" (Amiee Liu from the book, Gaining: the Truth about Life after Eating Disorders, pg. 260.)

Thank you, and once again......

November 1st.

I guess November first ois now the official start of Christmas... there a radio station in Philly that has started the non-stop Christmas music....

"happy holidays.... " (?????)

Here's what the doctor says...

Ok so, as you already know from my previous post that I have SVT. Well, I went to see the electrophysiologist on Tuesday. He explained to me that because of how high my heart rate gets when I go into an episode, that the best thing for me is to go ahead and have what they call an ablation. They will go up through the groin into the artery, into the heart, in order to find where the extra electrical system, (so to speak), is within my heart, once they find that, he will go and cauterize, (burn off), that extra part. This is all freaking me out. I've never had any type of surgery before and it makes it even worse that it's all with in the heart. I know that it is better then staying on medication for the rest of my life, but the risks always sacre me. But I will trust in God. He knows what to do, I will still be scared, but I know tht God has control. So, this is the update. Novemeber 24th I will be going in to have the SVT "cured". That's all I have for now, I don't know what time it is, I will know that on the 21st. I will be coming back from Califorina on the 20th, go to the hospital on the 21st for pretests, then on monday the 24th go in for the procedure. That's all for now. And this will probably be that last post about this until after everything is done to help prevent me for becoming to overwhelmed with it. Thanks again.

All I have to say,,,

is...

THE PHILLIES WON!

I'll do a real up date with what the doctors said yesterday, tomorrow. but for tonight that's....

my story. (well at least a small portion)

So here goes a serious post:

So for the last several years I have been struggle with a health issue. I've been to the doctors, and they sent me to a more specialized doctor: the cardiologist. I think I saw my first cardiologist at the age of 16 or 17 and it was a pediatric cardiologist. (Now I suppose it would help if I also let you in on a secret, I had been anorexic now for about 2-3 years and continued to be until I was about 20 or so, I'm still dealing, but it's much better then it was when I was in high school). They could find anything and just kept writing me off as if I was making things up. So, my mother decided to take me to another cardiologist, they too, didn't find anything wrong. So we stop pursuing things. But I was still struggling with the symptoms. I kept have random rapid, and I mean rapid, heart rates. I would just stand up or sit down and the next thing I knew my heart rate was going so fast I don't even think you could count it. but eventually it would just suddenly stop; just as fast as it begun. I always thought it was strange and unusual, but I figured that if the doctors never found anything and they never seemed so concerned about it, then I should be either. However I noticed it would happen more often the older I got, I began college and joined the cheerleading team and things just were not right. I sought help from the school nurse who advised me to speak to the on campus doctor who cam in twice a week, so I set up and appointment. I saw him and he simply stated to me, "Oh it sounds like you have SVT"... as if I knew what he was saying and just told me ways to stop it when it would occour. so I went on and once again he didn't seem to concerend about it, so, neither did I. At least up until the beginning of this year right before we moved. It began occouring more and more often and none of the ways I was told to help stop it was working and now I began to get anxious everytime it would happen because I couldn't stop it. So I decided once more to go and find a new, "adult", cardiologist. I went there and did all the same stuff, got the 24 hr. halter monitor, got the sonogram, got the month long halter moniter. Nothing.... thats right, nothing came up on any of them, well, at least not what we were looking for; and the stuff they did find was nothing major. So the doctor told me that I would continue to see him for follow ups from here on out once a year. Oh joy. Well, a little over a month ago I found my self haveing a "hearts doing that thing again" (that's what we have come to affectionatly call it") moment. I was at the doctors for a routinue visit, I had a cold and just got back from a missions trip in Africa so I just wanted to make sure things were ok. Well, I was done with my visit and getting in my mother's car. That simple motion of getting into the car set it off. I went back into the office and the doctor looked at me and said once again, it's SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia). and told me to just go home and put some ice on my neck and it would stop. Ok, so I went back to the car got in and I had to go get my mom from work, so I drove to her work and waited for her to come out, she wasn't coming and the heart rate was still up so I called her to find out when she was coming nd explained to her what was going on. Next thing I know shes in the car, checks and pulse, then tells me we are going to the hospital. (Oh Joy...) I didn't want to go but she was driving and thus I went, and besides, when mom says something, you just have to listen. So there I was in the ER, nurses screaming at eacher to get me a bed, and a room, next thing you know there a whole big comotion and theres 15 people surrounding me and hooking me up to moitors and IVs. (this was my first BIG ER visit.) Next thing i know the docotrs telling me they have to give me a small dose of this medication to make the heart slow down and warns me that its going to make me feel like crap, "ok" I say. So they do it, and the heart rate is still up so the double the next dose and there goes the second dose in me. then tells me to bare down.. next thing I know I'm freaking out, I can't do it, it feels like a truck has just been dropped right no top of me. It was the worst feeling I have ever had. It eventually slows down and they montior do some more tests, give me a perscription and send me on my way with instrutions. OK, So I go home, make an appointment with my cardiologist, I go and see him and he tells me that he can now offially confim that I have SVT. Great!! I finally have a name to whats been bothering me for that last almost 10 years of my life. He then sets me up with an Electrophysiologist. and this leads us up to today. Monday, Oct. 27th 2008. Tomorrow at 2pm I get to meet the eletrophysiologst for the first time to discuss this issue. Now, it's not life threatening, at least not right at the moment as far as I know, But I am meeting with him to discuss the option of surgery. And for the last 2 days I've been getting anxious to meet with him. I have so many questions. And I am excited to know that I can get this problem fixed, but also scared of what could go wrong. This is all new to me. Please just pray that things go well from here on out. Thank you for hearing

A little late...

Ok, So I know yesterday I wrote about how I was going to blog about how I feel about this whole blogging experience, and I didn't... I apologize. I still haven't figured out how to put it all down into words but I figured if I just started typing it would all fall into place.. It usually does anyway.

So I began blogging on xanga about 2002 then decided I didn't like the name of my xanga site so I switched to a new xanga name about in 2003. It was alos in 2003 that I got this blog spot account to keep up with my husband's (at the time we were just dating) friends. Then eventually I just lost track of this account and just kept up with xanga... Then myspace came about... then facebook and from there I suppose I just lost all interest in blogging, altough I would keep up with that xanga everyonce in a blue moon. However I became inspired to begin blogging again after reading and following a friend's site. And I thought how cool it would be to do that. I wanted to be able to write about all the fun and interesting things that would go on in my life and in our life.. (me and my husband, Tim). But then after I found this site and posting a few things on here and noticing that no one comes and reads this.. I became discouraged. Then I got an e-mail from xanga with a friend request.. I thought it would be one of those sick people out there who are really annoying.. (ie-spam). But it wasn't... I believe it was someone who was following my xanga site. I was shocked because I didn't think anyone was following my site, I apprecited seeing that. So I wanted to just write a little small blog about how I feel that no one is reading my rambleings. But, I suppose that's ok. i don't write about much. At least not at the moment. But there is stuff comeing. There has been a change in my life that I will be blogging about, maybe this week... maybe next week... Who knows.

To all of you who read my small little rambelings. Thanks you, you are the ones who keep me posting even if I don't know that you come and visit. Thank you.
Kathi

Such a Jumbled Mess...

So, for the past few days I have been trying to figure out what I want to write about, or what I should tell the world, if anyone even reads this. So many things have come across my mind, I just can't seem to figure out out to put them down into words, So hopefully, I can find the time in between doing the dishes and getting laundry done, catering to the husband and carving out some pumpkins and roasting the seeds and attempting to ROAST my FIRST Turkey Brest for dinner tonight to figure out just what to write about first and how I can put it into words that can make sense.... I think the first topic will be: How I feel about this whole blogging experience... get ready... it's coming...

FYI

I seriously need to learn HTML........

anyone willing to help????

Oh the colors of Autum!

Just wanted to share two of my favorite pictures from last weekend when my mom came to visit. We went pumpkin picking and then the next day, we took a drive into Lancaster! and I ended the day by visiting a great friend of mine!!


That's all for tonight, maybe tomorrow I'll have something inspiring happen so I can blog about it. I'm not the most interesting person in the world, in fact, no one probably reads this. Well, good night to those of you who do.
Kathi

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.... or Does it?

For the last 11 days I have been with out my husband. He left last week on Monday for business. I thought in the beginning that things would be ok, I would be fine, it's only three weeks... right? Well, at first it was ok, Tim has been gone for a week before, but that has been the longest he's been gone for. Well, I got through the first week fine, for the most part, but now that we are closing in on week two, I have come to realize that this "being apart thing" is not as easy as I thought it would be.

For the first week and a half I stayed with my in-laws back in NJ. That was fine until we hit Saturday and I was just itching to get home to see Tim. But, Tim wasn't home... I returned here yesterday afternoon and things were not in running order.... I had no idea what to do, I was clueless and I felt all alone. I called Tim and called the phone company and everyone else I had to call... But I still felt hopeless. I even thought about running away back to NJ. But I am trying my best to get through... so far... so good.... I suppose.....

Any way, I guess on to the real post here....

I took the dog out this evening so that he could do his business. As I was walking him in our back yard I gazed up to look up at the sky and the only thing you could see was the twinkling stars in the sky. At that moment I realized how small we really are. I mean, we have all talked about this topic, we have all heard about it on TV, we have all dicussed this in some since course, and I am sure we have all thought about this at one point or another when we looked up into the sky. But for some reason tonight, it just stuck in my head... "Wow, I can't believe how beautiful the universe is, how delicate the details are the God placed on and around the Earth." And it was that moment, "Wow, how small I am." I seem to relate it this way, I suppose the only thing I could compare it to. We stare at ants crawling on the ground, how tiny and small they are, and I wonder to myself... "Is that how God sees us?"

Sometimes it's the little things like that that make the even smaller things look so grand. I'm not really sure where I am going with this, but I just felt the need to share it. You know, with continually reading Darren's Blog and keeping up with how things are going with him and the family, I just look at some things differently. I try hard not to complain about Tim being gone for three weeks on travel... I try hard not to complain about the small things that bother me, I try not to complain about money....but, I'll be honest... it's hard. But when I looked up at those stars tonight, and I all those thoughts come rushing through my head........ I felt comforted in knowing that God is looking down on my, no matter how small I felt in that moment, He was right there. Even though I was lonely, and missing my husband, God was there, no matter what was going wrong in my life right now, God was in control.

So, that's where I stand tonight. No matter what, God has control, even when things feel like they are falling apart. I wish this was more inquisitive like my other post, I wish I were more inquisitive like I was back then, but unfortunately this is what happens when you haven't been in school, or working, for the past 2 years....

Well, ok, that's all for now....

Resurrected?

Wow, four years later I randomly remember that I have a blog on blogger. How crazy is that! Here is the story on how I found this once lost site and how it will never be lost again. In these last few recent weeks many things have happened in my life. I have returened home from Afriaca on a two week long mission trip, my husband, (whom I married back in 2006), has gone on travel for work and has been gone for a while now. At least I have seen him here and there. Not the best of situations, but it's life. And lastly, I have begun to notice that most people used this great service to discuss whats on there mind.

A friend of my husbands lost his wife recently and most of the others who read his blog, have blogger, thus, here I am. I had written about my thoughts on the terrible juvenile site of xanga, )for some reason I always remembered I had that one, but yet never liked it, and yet, can't seem to get ride of it, maybe this resurrection of blogger will be the so long to xanga?) Anyway... back on track here. So, instead of letting that post waste away there on xanga, I will copy and paste that post on here as well, I will also put the link the his site.

Here is the post:


A Time For Everything
So last week, Tuesday at 9:15 pm, a wonderful, amazing woman, Misty passed away after her long battle with Stage IV Brain Cancer. Since then I have been asking the same questions over and over and over again. Why in the world would God take away such a Beautiful soul, mother, wife, someone who could do so much good here on this earth? Now, I never really got the chance to meet her, infact I only meet her in person once, but I remember that day so clearly, I am not the greatest at remembering things, and I don't know her husband all that well either, but he is good friends with my husband. It has been through Darren, and his blog that I came to truly know what a beautiful woman Misty was, and her life and passing has come to touch so many lives. These questions I have for God have only brought me to a deeper understanding as to where my faith lies. I don't understand and nor do I ever believe I will come to an understanding as to why God would do that. He knows and I just have to learn to take comfort in knowing that it was His plan to take Misty home to be with Him Even though so many people, maybe even you, had been praying for her healing and we truly believed that He would heal her. It's just weird to have this kind of hurt. It has stured up some questions about myself, my faith, and my love. It only makes me wonder more about who God is, it makes me want to understand Him more. It also makes me wonder, how would I be if I were in Darren's shoes? Would I have that kind of faith and love for God still, or would I be angry? All I know now is that I desire to know more about God, I desire to learn about this unbelievable faith that Misty had. Her story is an amazing story, I just wish that she were here to share it with us, but now we can depend on her loving husband and beautiful daughter to continue on with her legacy. I am really looking foward to the future posts that will be coming up on the blog. It really amazes me that Darren has the time and the passion to share his life, and to continue to share his life, with all of us! I hope that you all have the time to visit the website to just begin to understand the faith that she and Darren had/has. I just don't know where to begin, or even what to write. Most of the time when something like this in life happens I can articulate it or just "grin and bare" with it, but for some reason I'm not just sure how to put into words all the things I think about, have questions about, or even the feelings that I have. (although I don't think it helps that my dog is snoring on my lap....). I've also been having a difficult time sleeping because all these mixed thoughts keep running through my head. I've just been constantly thinking and wondering and asking, and I'm just left here, with no answers.... I can only trust.

http://www.leblanclife.com/

I know most of you who read this post are as lost as lost can be, but if you really do take the time to read the blog, maybe you would come to understand. I hope you do.

Thank you for this time, and I hope it will not be my last. farewell for now.