Thursday, October 30, 2008

Here's what the doctor says...

Ok so, as you already know from my previous post that I have SVT. Well, I went to see the electrophysiologist on Tuesday. He explained to me that because of how high my heart rate gets when I go into an episode, that the best thing for me is to go ahead and have what they call an ablation. They will go up through the groin into the artery, into the heart, in order to find where the extra electrical system, (so to speak), is within my heart, once they find that, he will go and cauterize, (burn off), that extra part. This is all freaking me out. I've never had any type of surgery before and it makes it even worse that it's all with in the heart. I know that it is better then staying on medication for the rest of my life, but the risks always sacre me. But I will trust in God. He knows what to do, I will still be scared, but I know tht God has control. So, this is the update. Novemeber 24th I will be going in to have the SVT "cured". That's all I have for now, I don't know what time it is, I will know that on the 21st. I will be coming back from Califorina on the 20th, go to the hospital on the 21st for pretests, then on monday the 24th go in for the procedure. That's all for now. And this will probably be that last post about this until after everything is done to help prevent me for becoming to overwhelmed with it. Thanks again.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

All I have to say,,,



I'll do a real up date with what the doctors said yesterday, tomorrow. but for tonight that's....

Monday, October 27, 2008

my story. (well at least a small portion)

So here goes a serious post:

So for the last several years I have been struggle with a health issue. I've been to the doctors, and they sent me to a more specialized doctor: the cardiologist. I think I saw my first cardiologist at the age of 16 or 17 and it was a pediatric cardiologist. (Now I suppose it would help if I also let you in on a secret, I had been anorexic now for about 2-3 years and continued to be until I was about 20 or so, I'm still dealing, but it's much better then it was when I was in high school). They could find anything and just kept writing me off as if I was making things up. So, my mother decided to take me to another cardiologist, they too, didn't find anything wrong. So we stop pursuing things. But I was still struggling with the symptoms. I kept have random rapid, and I mean rapid, heart rates. I would just stand up or sit down and the next thing I knew my heart rate was going so fast I don't even think you could count it. but eventually it would just suddenly stop; just as fast as it begun. I always thought it was strange and unusual, but I figured that if the doctors never found anything and they never seemed so concerned about it, then I should be either. However I noticed it would happen more often the older I got, I began college and joined the cheerleading team and things just were not right. I sought help from the school nurse who advised me to speak to the on campus doctor who cam in twice a week, so I set up and appointment. I saw him and he simply stated to me, "Oh it sounds like you have SVT"... as if I knew what he was saying and just told me ways to stop it when it would occour. so I went on and once again he didn't seem to concerend about it, so, neither did I. At least up until the beginning of this year right before we moved. It began occouring more and more often and none of the ways I was told to help stop it was working and now I began to get anxious everytime it would happen because I couldn't stop it. So I decided once more to go and find a new, "adult", cardiologist. I went there and did all the same stuff, got the 24 hr. halter monitor, got the sonogram, got the month long halter moniter. Nothing.... thats right, nothing came up on any of them, well, at least not what we were looking for; and the stuff they did find was nothing major. So the doctor told me that I would continue to see him for follow ups from here on out once a year. Oh joy. Well, a little over a month ago I found my self haveing a "hearts doing that thing again" (that's what we have come to affectionatly call it") moment. I was at the doctors for a routinue visit, I had a cold and just got back from a missions trip in Africa so I just wanted to make sure things were ok. Well, I was done with my visit and getting in my mother's car. That simple motion of getting into the car set it off. I went back into the office and the doctor looked at me and said once again, it's SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia). and told me to just go home and put some ice on my neck and it would stop. Ok, so I went back to the car got in and I had to go get my mom from work, so I drove to her work and waited for her to come out, she wasn't coming and the heart rate was still up so I called her to find out when she was coming nd explained to her what was going on. Next thing I know shes in the car, checks and pulse, then tells me we are going to the hospital. (Oh Joy...) I didn't want to go but she was driving and thus I went, and besides, when mom says something, you just have to listen. So there I was in the ER, nurses screaming at eacher to get me a bed, and a room, next thing you know there a whole big comotion and theres 15 people surrounding me and hooking me up to moitors and IVs. (this was my first BIG ER visit.) Next thing i know the docotrs telling me they have to give me a small dose of this medication to make the heart slow down and warns me that its going to make me feel like crap, "ok" I say. So they do it, and the heart rate is still up so the double the next dose and there goes the second dose in me. then tells me to bare down.. next thing I know I'm freaking out, I can't do it, it feels like a truck has just been dropped right no top of me. It was the worst feeling I have ever had. It eventually slows down and they montior do some more tests, give me a perscription and send me on my way with instrutions. OK, So I go home, make an appointment with my cardiologist, I go and see him and he tells me that he can now offially confim that I have SVT. Great!! I finally have a name to whats been bothering me for that last almost 10 years of my life. He then sets me up with an Electrophysiologist. and this leads us up to today. Monday, Oct. 27th 2008. Tomorrow at 2pm I get to meet the eletrophysiologst for the first time to discuss this issue. Now, it's not life threatening, at least not right at the moment as far as I know, But I am meeting with him to discuss the option of surgery. And for the last 2 days I've been getting anxious to meet with him. I have so many questions. And I am excited to know that I can get this problem fixed, but also scared of what could go wrong. This is all new to me. Please just pray that things go well from here on out. Thank you for hearing

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A little late...

Ok, So I know yesterday I wrote about how I was going to blog about how I feel about this whole blogging experience, and I didn't... I apologize. I still haven't figured out how to put it all down into words but I figured if I just started typing it would all fall into place.. It usually does anyway.

So I began blogging on xanga about 2002 then decided I didn't like the name of my xanga site so I switched to a new xanga name about in 2003. It was alos in 2003 that I got this blog spot account to keep up with my husband's (at the time we were just dating) friends. Then eventually I just lost track of this account and just kept up with xanga... Then myspace came about... then facebook and from there I suppose I just lost all interest in blogging, altough I would keep up with that xanga everyonce in a blue moon. However I became inspired to begin blogging again after reading and following a friend's site. And I thought how cool it would be to do that. I wanted to be able to write about all the fun and interesting things that would go on in my life and in our life.. (me and my husband, Tim). But then after I found this site and posting a few things on here and noticing that no one comes and reads this.. I became discouraged. Then I got an e-mail from xanga with a friend request.. I thought it would be one of those sick people out there who are really annoying.. (ie-spam). But it wasn't... I believe it was someone who was following my xanga site. I was shocked because I didn't think anyone was following my site, I apprecited seeing that. So I wanted to just write a little small blog about how I feel that no one is reading my rambleings. But, I suppose that's ok. i don't write about much. At least not at the moment. But there is stuff comeing. There has been a change in my life that I will be blogging about, maybe this week... maybe next week... Who knows.

To all of you who read my small little rambelings. Thanks you, you are the ones who keep me posting even if I don't know that you come and visit. Thank you.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Such a Jumbled Mess...

So, for the past few days I have been trying to figure out what I want to write about, or what I should tell the world, if anyone even reads this. So many things have come across my mind, I just can't seem to figure out out to put them down into words, So hopefully, I can find the time in between doing the dishes and getting laundry done, catering to the husband and carving out some pumpkins and roasting the seeds and attempting to ROAST my FIRST Turkey Brest for dinner tonight to figure out just what to write about first and how I can put it into words that can make sense.... I think the first topic will be: How I feel about this whole blogging experience... get ready... it's coming...

Friday, October 17, 2008


I seriously need to learn HTML........

anyone willing to help????

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oh the colors of Autum!

Just wanted to share two of my favorite pictures from last weekend when my mom came to visit. We went pumpkin picking and then the next day, we took a drive into Lancaster! and I ended the day by visiting a great friend of mine!!

That's all for tonight, maybe tomorrow I'll have something inspiring happen so I can blog about it. I'm not the most interesting person in the world, in fact, no one probably reads this. Well, good night to those of you who do.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.... or Does it?

For the last 11 days I have been with out my husband. He left last week on Monday for business. I thought in the beginning that things would be ok, I would be fine, it's only three weeks... right? Well, at first it was ok, Tim has been gone for a week before, but that has been the longest he's been gone for. Well, I got through the first week fine, for the most part, but now that we are closing in on week two, I have come to realize that this "being apart thing" is not as easy as I thought it would be.

For the first week and a half I stayed with my in-laws back in NJ. That was fine until we hit Saturday and I was just itching to get home to see Tim. But, Tim wasn't home... I returned here yesterday afternoon and things were not in running order.... I had no idea what to do, I was clueless and I felt all alone. I called Tim and called the phone company and everyone else I had to call... But I still felt hopeless. I even thought about running away back to NJ. But I am trying my best to get through... so far... so good.... I suppose.....

Any way, I guess on to the real post here....

I took the dog out this evening so that he could do his business. As I was walking him in our back yard I gazed up to look up at the sky and the only thing you could see was the twinkling stars in the sky. At that moment I realized how small we really are. I mean, we have all talked about this topic, we have all heard about it on TV, we have all dicussed this in some since course, and I am sure we have all thought about this at one point or another when we looked up into the sky. But for some reason tonight, it just stuck in my head... "Wow, I can't believe how beautiful the universe is, how delicate the details are the God placed on and around the Earth." And it was that moment, "Wow, how small I am." I seem to relate it this way, I suppose the only thing I could compare it to. We stare at ants crawling on the ground, how tiny and small they are, and I wonder to myself... "Is that how God sees us?"

Sometimes it's the little things like that that make the even smaller things look so grand. I'm not really sure where I am going with this, but I just felt the need to share it. You know, with continually reading Darren's Blog and keeping up with how things are going with him and the family, I just look at some things differently. I try hard not to complain about Tim being gone for three weeks on travel... I try hard not to complain about the small things that bother me, I try not to complain about money....but, I'll be honest... it's hard. But when I looked up at those stars tonight, and I all those thoughts come rushing through my head........ I felt comforted in knowing that God is looking down on my, no matter how small I felt in that moment, He was right there. Even though I was lonely, and missing my husband, God was there, no matter what was going wrong in my life right now, God was in control.

So, that's where I stand tonight. No matter what, God has control, even when things feel like they are falling apart. I wish this was more inquisitive like my other post, I wish I were more inquisitive like I was back then, but unfortunately this is what happens when you haven't been in school, or working, for the past 2 years....

Well, ok, that's all for now....

Thursday, October 09, 2008


Wow, four years later I randomly remember that I have a blog on blogger. How crazy is that! Here is the story on how I found this once lost site and how it will never be lost again. In these last few recent weeks many things have happened in my life. I have returened home from Afriaca on a two week long mission trip, my husband, (whom I married back in 2006), has gone on travel for work and has been gone for a while now. At least I have seen him here and there. Not the best of situations, but it's life. And lastly, I have begun to notice that most people used this great service to discuss whats on there mind.

A friend of my husbands lost his wife recently and most of the others who read his blog, have blogger, thus, here I am. I had written about my thoughts on the terrible juvenile site of xanga, )for some reason I always remembered I had that one, but yet never liked it, and yet, can't seem to get ride of it, maybe this resurrection of blogger will be the so long to xanga?) Anyway... back on track here. So, instead of letting that post waste away there on xanga, I will copy and paste that post on here as well, I will also put the link the his site.

Here is the post:

A Time For Everything
So last week, Tuesday at 9:15 pm, a wonderful, amazing woman, Misty passed away after her long battle with Stage IV Brain Cancer. Since then I have been asking the same questions over and over and over again. Why in the world would God take away such a Beautiful soul, mother, wife, someone who could do so much good here on this earth? Now, I never really got the chance to meet her, infact I only meet her in person once, but I remember that day so clearly, I am not the greatest at remembering things, and I don't know her husband all that well either, but he is good friends with my husband. It has been through Darren, and his blog that I came to truly know what a beautiful woman Misty was, and her life and passing has come to touch so many lives. These questions I have for God have only brought me to a deeper understanding as to where my faith lies. I don't understand and nor do I ever believe I will come to an understanding as to why God would do that. He knows and I just have to learn to take comfort in knowing that it was His plan to take Misty home to be with Him Even though so many people, maybe even you, had been praying for her healing and we truly believed that He would heal her. It's just weird to have this kind of hurt. It has stured up some questions about myself, my faith, and my love. It only makes me wonder more about who God is, it makes me want to understand Him more. It also makes me wonder, how would I be if I were in Darren's shoes? Would I have that kind of faith and love for God still, or would I be angry? All I know now is that I desire to know more about God, I desire to learn about this unbelievable faith that Misty had. Her story is an amazing story, I just wish that she were here to share it with us, but now we can depend on her loving husband and beautiful daughter to continue on with her legacy. I am really looking foward to the future posts that will be coming up on the blog. It really amazes me that Darren has the time and the passion to share his life, and to continue to share his life, with all of us! I hope that you all have the time to visit the website to just begin to understand the faith that she and Darren had/has. I just don't know where to begin, or even what to write. Most of the time when something like this in life happens I can articulate it or just "grin and bare" with it, but for some reason I'm not just sure how to put into words all the things I think about, have questions about, or even the feelings that I have. (although I don't think it helps that my dog is snoring on my lap....). I've also been having a difficult time sleeping because all these mixed thoughts keep running through my head. I've just been constantly thinking and wondering and asking, and I'm just left here, with no answers.... I can only trust.

I know most of you who read this post are as lost as lost can be, but if you really do take the time to read the blog, maybe you would come to understand. I hope you do.

Thank you for this time, and I hope it will not be my last. farewell for now.