So, today was the sixth day that, once again, I've been without my husband. For yet again, he is on travel for work. He won't be back again for another 11 days. Yesterday was especially hard for me for some reason. Last night I about 7pm I went down stairs to put my dish in the sink and I just started crying. I just felt so alone. Now, I know it may seem ridiculous to some, but when you've just recently moved to a new state where you don't know anyone, and your still not working because you just can't seem to find a job, you find yourself by yourself 24/7. Alone. Now, this really isn't the point of my post. But I just wanted to share that. Anyway... (I guess I just had to vent since I have had barely any human contact.) Today I decided to try and not rot the day away with television. Today I decided to try and get myself out of the depressed state. I got some filing done. And Then this afternoon I decided to finish a book............. a book I started a few years ago!
Now, I've been reading it off and on again for the last 2 years I've had it. I never thought I would finish it, but every time I picked it up it was as if I never put it down. The reason I believe it took me so long to read it was because for me, it was a difficult read. The book is called Gaining; The Truth about Life after Eating Disorders. It really hit home for me. I totally related to that book and learned a little more about myself as a recovering Anorexic. Now, when I went to college I decided to major in counseling because I wanted to help others like myself. And through those classes I also learned about the disease/disorder. One of the things I learned about was the different views of recovery. There are basically two understandings on this: 1.) People with Eating disorders can FULLY recover, (meaning that they will never have the tendencies again). and 2.) People can recover, but it's not a full recover. I believe in that later. I believe that people can recover, however to believe in a full recovery seems a little difficult to me. You see, we are consistently surrounded by food. We cannot take ourselves away from the situation, fore example, how an alcoholic can chose to remove themselves away from alcohol.) And this I believe makes it more difficult for those reoccurring thoughts to be removed from the mind of someone with an eating disorder. (These are just my own beliefs/ideas from my own research. please, please, don't take this as if I don;t believe that people can recover and once again be "normal" around food, or have a healthy relationship with food again, I'm just saying that to me people can recover, but to call it a full recovery, I'm not sure about that. Please don't take this as a negative, please don't take me as a professional in the field, these are just my thoughts).
But Aimee Liu makes some very good points and has made some excellent research in the idea of what it's like for a person who is recovering from an eating disorder. It was strange to see how she spoke about some of the new habits that I have picked up on thorough my reovery, that could very well be the habits that I have replaced the disorded eating habits with. Some good, some not so good. But all in all, this is an excellent book, and if you or some one you know has "recovered" from an eating disorder this is a great read. I would not suggest it for those who are new to recovery or those who are still in the vital stages of recovery. Now I will leave you with a quote from the book, " Each of us must find our own path. We must dare to follow it even when others can't understand or don't approve. And we must each take our own sweet time to savor all that we gain we move outward, into and though the richness of life that awaits us" (Amiee Liu from the book, Gaining: the Truth about Life after Eating Disorders, pg. 260.)
Thank you, and once again......