I thought I have experienced this before. You know, when everything just happens to go worng at once, or everything is happening at once. But, with everything that is happening now, I can look back and I can honestly say, we have not experienced this until now.
First, We decided to move forward with one more try with a FET. We know that if this doesn't work, we will try again, we just don't know when that will be able to happen. We've exhusted all finances moving forward with this... But within the last month or so... Here's what has happened since making this choice....
The check engine light has gone on in my Highlander. Also, it's well over due for an oil change. It also happens to be time for T to take his car in for service. My cell phone has gone all sorts of whack on me. Turning off randomly, not turning back on. Not making a connection to a call for almost a minute after hitting the call button.... We decided to look into buying a chest freezer in order to buy more bulk when I have the coupns. (Well, this is now on the bottom of the list with everything else going on). Yesterday, I just a letter informing me that my dishewasher has been recalled due to a fire hazard, and we are still trying to figure out our opitions. And it just one thing after another... Something new everyday....
I trust God. I trust He knows what he is doing. But, that's not saying that it isn't difficult. It is. I've never felt so stressed. I'm trying not to let it all get to me, but it does. I am only human. I know that God will carry us through this time. I just hope all this will lead to a happy ending for us. I know God knows what he is doing in our life, and I'm Thankful he is carrying us through.
And, in the midst of all of this. There are exciting time, or scary time, or nerve recking times. I suppose it all depends on the moment, how we feel. Lately, to be honest, I've been starting to worry about this upcoming cycle. I'm just so scared that it's not going to work, and I'm not sure I can handle another miscarriage, or a failed cycle. I'm just at a point where I'm not sure I can move forward if that happens, or I would just have to keep moving right on, and that is just not possible. If this doesn't work, we are on hold until further notice.
But, let's try not to dwell on that aspct. Let's move forward, let's talk facts.
Sunday is 2 days away. That's the day 'llI begin Lurpon injectons at 20 units a day. So, what is Lupron:
Lupron = subcutaneous injection of a medication called Lupron (GnRH agonist). This medication is taken once daily. It prevents the woman from ovulating during the FET cycle - which would throw off the timing of uterine receptivity.
I'll be taking this until September 14th. That day I go in for a baseline ultrasound to find out where the cycle will be, and that should be the offical start of the FET cycle. I'll know at that point if the medication needs to change.
So, this is where we are. I can't believe it is starting already. All of August felt like it was moving so slow, and I couldn't wait for it to end so we could move forward. And now, it's here.