Monday, April 16, 2012

I'm trying not get my hopes up...

I know, that probably sounds awful. Let me explain.

After learning to chart my BBT, and after learning about OPK's and how to read my body; after going from one RE who didn't want to help us to the next; after having only gotten pregnant once and having a miscarriage in 2 years; After having surgery and 2 failed IUI cycles in between all those cycle we tried on our own and have failed; it becomes difficult to build you hope up. You're afraid to let yourself hope. You don't want to out of fear of how you will be if this cycle fails just like all the others. It's hard, and it hurts. You don't want to let yourself feel, I've come to a point where it's just another step....
So, this morning I went into the office again for more moitoring. Well, Everything looks great, just as it has in the past. My linning looks beautiful, my follicles are the right size. Now it's just waiting to see what my blood work shows, but most likely I'll be triggering tonight for IUI or TI. It's just a waiting game now to see if they can get the insurance to authorize in time to do IUI, if not, then we can only try TI.My fingers are crossed that we can do IUI though. That will give us a little bit of a better chance.
So, My linning is thicker than it's ever been, that builds my hope up just a bit more, But I don't want it too. It looks like I have 3 eggs that could ovulate, that's better than the 1 I've had in the past, again that builds my hope up a bit more, but I don't want it too. I try to remain numb, while scared for this trigger injection. It's a BIG needle. Bigger than the ones I've used. I'm sure DH isn't thrilled about giving it to me either. This one needs to go in my back end. It's and intermuscular injection. Here are some picutres. The best I can do with out having to open up a needle and waste it.

So, if everything is good, and my call this afternoon says to trigger, and everything can be worked out with the insurance then tomorrow morning and Wednesday morning we will go in for IUI. Here is where all your prayers could really help. Thank you all! We both apreciate it so much.

Where flowers bloom so does hope.
-Lady Bird Johnson


  1. I will hope for you even if you can't hope for yourself. ((hugs)) Good luck!